Calling out mistakes

When raiding, mistakes happen.   You'll find that the basic sequence is:

1. Here is the strategy - and perhaps your task assignment.
2. Pull
3. Mistakes happen
4. Most learn from their mistakes
5. Go to Step 1

However, occasionally, someone is truly struggling with a mechanic and you are faced with how to handle this.

We are a friendly group.   We strive to not call out specific players unless they are among a list of players struggling.   That is "John, Joe, Mary, watch out for fire".   But never, "John you were in fire". 

Most likely, instead, you hear, "Several people were in fire, here is how to handle that mechanic, please try to do better".

The key here is that some people are overly sensitive to hear their name called out.   And even especially sensitive when they are called out more than once.

Unfortunately, the more times the same mistakes happen, eventually something needs to be privately handled on the issue or someone else, in the group's frustration will cause them to handle it for you and not necessarily the way you'd prefer.   Drama will ensue.

It happened to us this week in raid.  Someone made the same mistake several times.  After having their name in the list 3 times, they quit the raid and quit the guild and insisted we were being disrespectful to (a) his age (b) his limitations as a player.

The problem is, this player never spoke up.  They never said, I can't do this.  They never said what other things can I try since I struggle with this mechanic.   Instead, they waited until they were past their limit and then up and quit.

If this happens to you, here is how I handled it.

I let them know, the mistake was not ours.  The rudeness was not ours.   All the mistakes  were on them.  Here was their failure.

1. They failed mechanic - not the biggest problem.
2. They failed to speak up on their difficulty with the mechanic. - BIG PROBLEM
3. They quit instead of speaking up - THEIR PROBLEM.

Raiding is a team sport and team players have to participate more than just causing fails over and over.

If they speak up, and have difficulty, you then have options.   You can work around the issue if you know.   But if you work-around the issue without knowing, then it looks equally insensitive.   Don't let your raiders get away with being shy.

All-in-all, I'm saying.  Don't accept a criticism from someone when you know you are making all reasonable accommodations given a known circumstance.

Yes, eventually, it may come to sitting them out for a fight they can't do.  That doesn't mean they can't come back for later content.  Or eventually figure a new strategy.